What is a Presupposition and how can it help me?

Posted on Aug 13, 2020 | By: Jenny Jarvis | Tags: confidence, happiness, mindset, motivation, personal growth, productivity | Comments (1)

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In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), we have a series of beliefs called presuppositions. It is something we believe to be true without question.

These beliefs allow us to influence our own attitude to the world. They allow the NLP practitioner to expand their mind and be flexible to the client's needs. I am going to discuss 2 presuppositions that have been profound for me. It can be difficult to live by these to begin with but, with practice and conscious thought, the more you do, the better we can see the world and accept those around us who may think differently.

Every behaviour has a positive intention

How could it possibly benefit us to have a belief like this? We look at behaviour around us which may seem unfair, unkind, unhelpful, even illegal and think, how on earth can there be a positive intention around that? The thing is with positive intentions, they aren't always for the wider world. Sometimes the positive intention is for the person themselves. The burglar who steals from an old lady may not be a nice person but the positive intention for him may be to feed his kids, feed his habit or make himself feel power over someone else. The person who cuts you up on a roundabout may be trying to get somewhere important to them, there may be an emergency, they may just think they are a better driver than you. There are also people who say things to and about others which may be unkind. What is their positive intention? If we are on the receiving end, it can be difficult to see one, however, I have discovered it is helpful to diffuse all sorts of situations when I learned this presupposition. It allows me to look at what the other person is getting out of their actions. It allows me to understand that it isn't about, or against, me at all. It is simply that they are getting something positive out of it for them. That shifts the hurt and discomfort and creates understanding. Perhaps they are feeling unsure of themselves. Perhaps they are looking for someone to blame. Perhaps they are looking to create a discussion they need to have. Perhaps being mean to me makes them feel superior. In looking for the positive intention, we can free ourselves from our own hurt feelings, frustration and sense of unfairness.

The Map is not the Territory.

The territory is the world we live in, actual reality. The map is the image we draw in our own minds of the world and can never be 100% accurate. Your own map (everyone's is individual to them) is built up of past experiences, beliefs, values, upbringing and many other aspects. When we look at a situation and think we could do better than someone else, try looking at it as a map. We have our map and the other person has theirs. What could be on their map that is different to ours which helps us to look from their point of view? When we appreciate that other people work from a slightly different map, we can open our mind to the possibility that there is another way to the way we would do it. NLP can help to change the map a person works from by removing or altering unhelpful roads and allow greater freedom of behaviour.

Using this presupposition has been particularly helpful during COVID 19. It has allowed me to look at people, organisations, government, other countries and see why they may be reacting in ways that we either wouldn't expect or don't agree with. Does doing something different to me or anyone else make it wrong? Or does it mean that they have different information to me and therefore their map is different?
When we become conscious of our thoughts, the effect we can have on others, and how others may see things, it can free us to open our minds and our hearts to the possibility that....

People make the best choice they can at the time (yes, another presupposition).

If you want to learn more about NLP and life coaching, you can find me on FB and Instagram jennyjarvislifecoaching or on my website www.jennyjarvislifecoaching.co.uk